It's been my experience that doubt (and I'm talking in the realm of faith-based religious-type doubt, here) isn't just something that plays a minor part in my personal spiritual journey as a Christian, it's become a force to be reckoned with almost constantly. For the longest time this whole "doubt problem" was a really discouraging thing for me. Lately though, I've realized the flip-side of doubts: they bring you to the real decision point of faith. Doubts can be a very good thing. Without them, I would have no reason whatsoever to exercise faith in anything at any moment. (This probably sounds backwards, but "backwards" is just the way I tend to process things, I guess.) Doubt in anything brings you to a crucial place where a choice of belief must be made...will you continue, or will you stop having faith or believing in that thing that you're now doubting? You have to decide. You will either have faith in that first thing, or choose to have faith in a different thing. It's like a cause and effect scenario. In short, "Doubt produces Faith." When it comes to matters of belief or religion, this is especially true. You know though, I am no scholar, and there are any number of people way more qualified to think and understand this kind of stuff than me. I'm definitely not trying to make any blanket statement on atheism or "believing in nothing" here, just stating my opinion. Opinions are subject to change and grow and evolve, and they differ from person to person, so please don't feel like I'm bashing what you think about all this. Also, when I say "my opinion," I literally mean Matt Lott's opinion, not every member of Wavorly's opinion.
Dave and I actually wrote the first draft of this song back in either late 2007 or early 2008, I can't remember exactly. This is the latest and best sounding version we have of this song. It's about all of the aforementioned doubt/faith stuff, but in this song we see the realization and revitalization of one's faith in God after going through the doubt.
"There's something like fiction, or just a vague description that threw me from knowing who you are." This lyric describes the way in which I've usually heard about God, be it through not-necessarily shining life-example, hell-bent pulpits, terrifyingly drawn gospel-tracts, or anything along those lines. It's a 3-point sermon or plan, a get-faith-quick type of message (ahem...scheme) that can leave you with a multitude of questions and only a few answers.
There's a later draft of this song that says: "There's something like fiction, that subtle contradiction that threw me from knowing who you are." I liked that line a lot more and we planned to record it that way (if we ever would have really recorded it for an album.)
It all seems really negative right now, so let me clear the air here. This song is about those moments when I've seen God move, even through my tragedies, disappointments, and regular old bad days. When that doubt came to a head and the decision time came with it, and I had to look at everything around me and choose to recognize the movement of God or not...despite all that, I could see it. I could see his movement. And not to be cliche, but it was one of those "leaves you breathless" kind of moments. Those moments are very special ones in the life of a believer.
I want to throw up a disclaimer here, too.
Again, I know that not everyone believes the same way I do, so I'm in no way trying to cram this down your throat if you believe differently, or start any type of debate, or hear any "encouragement verses" from fellow believers because everything is fine and it's fine to disagree about a song. If this song says something different to you, let it say something different to you. That's the beauty of music in general, it's always "open to interpretation" to the listener, and that's another very special thing.
I would really like to record a final version of this song one day.
-Matt
lyrics
I'm losing my vision, I wonder what I'm missing?
Think I've forgotten who you are.
There's something like fiction, or just a vague description,
that threw me from knowing who you are.
Here all alone, somehow...
I'm calling to you now.
I can barely breathe,
now that I can see you in me.
Feel you moving...now.
I'm waiting, I'm fading; soon enough I'll be ghost,
no longer displaying who you are.
I'm broken, heart-broken,
and now I need you the most.
I pray you're near and yet you feel so far.
Here all alone, somehow...
I'm calling to you now.
I can barely breathe,
now that I can see you in me.
Feel you moving in it all.
I'm learning from the stars,
finding who you are now in me.
Moving in me, now.
I can barely breathe,
now that I can see you in me.
Feel you moving, now.
I'm learning from the stars,
finding who you are now in me.
Feel you moving, now.
I feel you moving in me now.
credits
from Something Like Fiction: The Lost Album(s),
released January 15, 2013
2009, Dave Stovall, Matt Lott, Seth Farmer, Ryan Coon, & Jaime Hays Demo produced by Rob Graves and Jasen Rauch
supported by 15 fans who also own “Barely Breathe”
Each year the same story: My wife (handmade pop music) and I (black metal maniac) go on holiday. We need some "soft" but honest music for long car drives. It is a tough week in advance to dive deeply into musical scrap to find some pearls like THE CLASSIC CRIME! This album really rocks, sounding more British than American. The first seven songs plus the stormy "Cold Loud Dark" are catchy killers and this is an almost perfect result for an album. A fat pillar in this years's holiday soundtrack! H.L.
supported by 11 fans who also own “Barely Breathe”
Oh well, Christmas is approaching... time to buy at least one Christmas album! I'm not a fan of Christmas, as it is celebrated today, nor do I like the typical cheesy Christmas music played everywhere these days. So it had to be something special. The "crash test" for this album was the version of "Silent Night", which nobody managed to get right so far. Well, with the exception of "Falling Up". Frankly, as a fan of Jessy Ribordy, I'm not surprised that much... Sven B. Schreiber (sbs)
supported by 10 fans who also own “Barely Breathe”
Cuts deep and stays with you. There is an earnest honesty in the lyrics that pulls you in. If, like me, you thought this album was merely "good" when you listened to it the first time, give it a few more plays. You might just fall in love with it. Francis Berglund
Seattle band somesurprises return with lofty, pretty dream pop that recalls the dissonant beauty of Broadcast, Grouper, and MBV. Bandcamp New & Notable Feb 13, 2024